Torpe

And there you are, with your long, curly hair.
Minsan nagkatagpo sa may pantry pero hindi ko magawang tingnan ka kasi nung minsan na jinabber kita, dinedma mo lang ako na para bang isa akong langaw na pilit na sinisiksik ang sarili. Wow.
They say you’re single but “unavailable.”
Ano kaya ibig sabihin nun? Minsan naisip ko na baka sa akin lang yan applicable, parang you’re single but unavailable to me.
Kaya wala ng natira sa self-confidence ko. Kaw kasi.
Pero salamat. ^_^

Stuck In A Moment

I’m not afraid
Of anything in this world
There’s nothing you can throw at me
That I haven’t already heard
I’m just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you. Ooh.
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
‘Cause tears are going nowhere baby

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

You are such a fool
To worry like you do.. Oh
I know it’s tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don’t really need now
My, oh my

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Oh lord look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment
And you cant gt out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm ’til you discover how deep
I wasn’t jumping, for me it was a fall
It’s a long way down to nothing at all

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It’s just a moment
This time will pass

A Nice Prayer

Dear God, thank you. Today, I was supposed to just concentrate on my work problems but personal stuff somewhat made my work problems worse to deal with. But you were there, giving me strength and wisdom. I was able to finish my tasks but what’s more important is that you preserved me from hate, anger, and impatience. You kept me from the clutches of the wicked, from the temptation to fight back masterful shenanigans of my enemies. God, may I ask, that you do not grant the desires of the bitter? It was tempting to prove my innocence but you guided me. I was almost betrayed by emotions. You are my witness of my innocence and I shall remember that I do not answer to anyone expect you. I thank you for giving me the chance to redeem myself from my youthful mistakes in the past and I shall not doubt your plans but I’m praying that giving them also the privilege to start anew is part of your plan.

Entry #51: What’s Outside The Box

Teasers for our Brown Bag session.

I’m starting to feel a little bit anxious about my group’s brown bag session on July 21. We have the teasers placed on strategic places in the office but we have not prepared the materials yet for our presentation. Expectations are high and we might not be able to deliver. Haaayz… By the way, the teasers seem to be effective. Most of my officemates are wondering what it’s all about. Hehehe.

FYI, Brown Bag Session is a twice-a-month activity in our department wherein assigned group of three prepare a one-hour presentation about the topic of their choice. I made an easy-to-understand (at least that’s my intention) conversational primer about it for my officemates. You can view the PDF file here. You may want to adopt it in your office or something. Hehe.

Entry #50: No A(H1N1)

I’ve been absent at work for two days. One of the joys of having a common cold is that it turns my rather dull lips to red. Today, I feel like going out of the house and let girls drool at my tomato lips. But I’m sick and I might have A(H1N1). In any case, no one can stop me from looking at the mirror and let my overbloated self-confidence take the best of me. What better way to entertain myself anyway? I’m deadly bored in the house and there’s nothing much else to do other than talk to some butiki on the wall. My theory is that butikis are actually angels disguised as ugly reptiles. Haven’t you noticed that every time you commit an evil plan, there’s a butiki staring at you? Or the time when you are about to do something bad at night, you hear “tu-ko” repeatedly echoing in your ears?

As a child, I used to think that clouds were the angels, not the butikis. I remember sliding down the window of our car, looking above, and talking to the clouds every time I was running late in school. “Clouds, sana late mag-ring ang bell.” And voila, the bell would ring late and I would be saved.

Oh, since we’re talking about my childhood days, let me tell you one amazing story that I’ve written about many times already. When I was 8 years old, I accurately predicted that my brother, who was still in my mother’s womb, would be born on June 10, the day after my birthday. It was not actually a prediction but rather a selfish wish. (Why I wanted my brother to be born on that day, I can’t remember.) However, I announced it with conviction like I was freaking Nostradamus. My aunt quipped, “Marunong ka pa sa doctor!” Well, the doctor predicted, based on some scientific evidence, that my brother would be born sometime in September. And that’s three months away from my prediction! Well, for some miraculous event, I was proven right and the rest was history. Moral of the story? God only listens to a child. So next time you’re wishing for something, let the child do the prayers for you. Have a nice day!

Entry #48: Sharing DotA Moment

Note: This is a journal entry I wrote for my office mates, which eventually and thankfully led my boss to personally sponsor our DotA tourney. =) By the way, the company I currently work for as a researcher is called NCCC, one of the leading retail organizations in Davao, Tagum and Palawan.

Two days ago, in one of our regular conversations, Jeff Duhaylungsod and I talked about the environment and the culture of Central Marketing in general. Both of us agreed, at least on a personal level, that it’s becoming more and more comfortable to work in the office. But we also recognized that it was not like that a year ago—a time when we still had a departmentalized orientation of the organization effectively promoting a culture of kanya-kanya or grupo-ko-ito-grupo-nila-yan. Assuming the role of detective Sherlocke Holmes that we felt we were, we figured that there must be a set of variables, not just one variable, that contributed to the change of culture. And we felt that it’s important that we understood the connection because such understanding would be crucial in helping us sustain and further improve the environment that we currently have. We tried to connect the dots and came up with a list of those contributing factors. It was then we realized that the game DotA had played a major role in shaping up our office environment. (You say, whaaaaattt?!?!)

For those unfamiliar with the DotA game, try imagining a computer version of Agawan Base in which two teams, the Sentinel and the Scourge, composed of up to 5 members each, battle it out on a map, defending and attacking, until one team destroys the enemy’s “Ancient” structure. (To know more about the game, just bing or google it.)

Well, it’s no secret that some of us in the office are DotAddicts whose almost daily regimen is to troop to NetExpress after work, play DotA until our eyes get droopy, and talk incessantly about the game the next morning. We even call each other in the office using our DotA aliases. “Kurim@u,” Boni’s alias, has become synonymous to God-like while “Sonz,” Jok-jok’s alias, was used to be associated with foods but is now not. We are also currently organizing a tournament to further improve our skills competitively. We’ve been playing the game together for more than half a year already and I have to admit that it has become so addictive that there are times I personally feel uneasy when I miss a game session. Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” has become an anthem for some of us. And more than the addiction to the game, it has become our bridge to foster our friendship, openness, and camaraderie.

Although it’s just one factor, we think that it is one big factor along with other factors such as our fun-to-work-with colleagues, no-nonsense leaders, our twice-a-month brown bag seminars, weekly and monthly meetings, food sharing, mind map sessions, notes exchanging, etc. that when connected together, you can see the big picture of where central marketing is going—towards a more creative, fun-to-be-at working environment.

Entry #46: Delusion

May 05, 2009, 10PM

I’ve been feeling a bit sad for the past few days. I feel as if my heart is being pulled down by a ship. I try hard not to let it affect me but this familiar feeling just won’t walk away. I can’t think, I can’t work properly, and I can’t move forward.  It’s ironic that the topic I learned from today’s seminar is self-motivation because it seems to me that no amount of self-motivation can drive away a feeling that is just too strong and real. My attempts to say to myself that I am happy, I am strong, I am good-looking, I am great, etc. have been futile because… who am I fooling that sadness has gone away? It hasn’t and it’s even becoming stronger as I think more about it, even stronger when I try to contain it, which I’ve been doing for a long time already.

Truth is that, although I’m never a good actor, I have conscious efforts in my life to always smile to other people and to not show any negative feelings to them. I’m doing this because I know that I have what psychologist called an “emotional brightness” radiating from me. That is, my mood is highly contagious. This is the kind of mood that would light up a room if I am happy but makes me a black hole that sucks everyone down with me if I am sad. My understanding of this is that I am partly responsible for other people’s moods or for the environment in general. Since I advocate positive energy in my workplace, I have to be in good mood all the time. This, however, makes me sometimes wonder if it’s better to take the safe path of becoming a nobody than becoming a somebody… in a society where you’re required to be a somebody to survive. Since I want to survive, I have no choice but to become a somebody. To end this post on a positive note, (nyahaha!), let me assure you that this is all okay because it’s what I need me to be to function.

PS. About this post and the last post… In a nutshell, I don’t want anyone to get sucked in to my sorry life.

Entry #44: High School Stereotypes according to Bob Ong

Sa mata ng isang guro, may isang dosenang
klase lang ng high school students.

CLOWNS – ang official kenkoy ng class. May
mga one-liner na gumigising sa
lahat kapag nagkakaantukan na. Sabi ng
ilang teacher, eto raw yung mga KSP sa
klase na dahil hindi naman matalino, o
kadalasang matalino, na tamad lang, eh
dinadaan na lang sa patawa ang
pagpapapansin. Pero aaminin ko, walang
klaseng
walang ganito, at kung meron man,
magigigng malaking sakripisyo ang
pagpasok sa
skul araw- araw..

GEEKS – mga taong walang pakialam sa
mundo, libro, teacher, at blackboard lang
ang iniintindi. Kahit na mainit na ang ulo ng
teacher at bad trip, ang mga
geeks ang walang takot na lumalapit sa
teacher at nagtatanong kung mag-iiba ang
result ng equation kung isa-substitute ang
value ng X sa Y.

HOLLOW MAN -may 2 uri ng H.M virus, ang
Type A at Type B. Ang type A ay ang
student na madalas na invisible sa class,
bakante ang upuan, madalas absent.
Ang type B naman ang pumapasok sa skul
bagamat present eh inivisible naman ang
sagot sa mga quizzes, at hollow ang utak …

SPICE GIRLS – barkadahan ng mga
magkaka-ibigang babae mahilig gumimik,
sabay-
sabay pero laging late na pumapasok ng
room after recess. Madalas na may hawak
ng brush, at songhits. Pag pinagawan mo ng
group works, sila ang madalas na
magkaka-grupo…

DA GWAPINGS – ang male counterpart ng
Spice Girls, isinilang para magpa-cute.
Konti lang ang members nito, 2-3 lang para
mas pansin ang bawat isa. Tulad ng
Spice Girls, kadalasang puro Hair Gel lang
ang laman ng utak ng mga Da
Gwapings…

CELEBRITIES – Politicians, Athletes,
Performers. Politician ang mga palaban na
mag-aaral na mas nag-aalala pa sa
kalagayan ng skul at mga kapwa skulmates
kesa
sa grades nila sa Algebra. Athletes ang
ilang ‘varsitarians’ na kung gaano
kabilis tumakbo eh ganon kabagal
magbasa. Performers naman ang mga
students na
kaya lang yata pumapasok eh para
makasayaw, kumanta, at makatula sa stage
kapag
Linggo ng WIka.. Sa pangkalahatan, ang
mga celebs ay matinding PR, pero
mababang IQ..

GUINESS – mga record holders pagdating
sa persistence. Pilit pinupunan ang mga
kakulangan sa katalinuhan. SIla ang mga
kadalasang nagtatagumpay sa buhay.
Masinop sa projects, actibo sa recitation.
Paulit ulit magtaas ng kamay, kahit
na laging mali ang sagot…

LEATHER GOODS – mga estudyanteng
maling uri ng determinasyon meron. Laging
determinado ang mga ito sa harapang
pangongopya, bulgarang pandaraya, at
palagiang pagpapalapad ng papel sa
teacher. Talo ang mga buwaya sa
pakapalan…

WEIRDOS – mga problematic students,
misunderstood daw, kadalasang tinatawag
na
black sheep ng klase. May kanya-kanya
silang katangian, konti ang kaibigan,
madalas mapaaway, mababa ang grades, at
teachers’ enemy…

MGA ANAK NI RIZAL – Ang mga Endangered
Species kumbaga… Straight ‘A’
students pero well rounded at hindi geeks.
Teacher’s pet pero hindi sipsip.
Hari ng Math, Science, at ENglish, pero may
oras pa rin sa extra-curricular
activities, at gimiks.. Hanep!

BOB ONGS – Mga medjo matino na may
sayad…

COMMONERS – mga generic na member ng
class. Kulang sa individuality, at
katangiang umuukit sa isipan. Hindi sila
agad napapansin ng teacher pag absent,
at sa paglipas ng panahon, sila ang mga
taong nakakalimutan ng mga teachers at
classmates nila…

kayo, saan kayo nabibilang?!

Entry #42: Ang Pagbabawas

How shall I describe this?

The fake sound of New Year

The rotten smell of Christmas eve

The cold river beneath my feet

The yellowish hue of incandescence

Ah, extreme relief!

Entry #41: Maniniyot

If I were not I am today (that is, a corporate worker), I’d probably be an aspiring writer or a manong maniniyot. You see, I’ve always felt (or pretended, haha!) that I am an “artist,” never mind the eyebrows that it raises but it’s one label that gets respect, or at least that’s what I think, and I’d like to be respected on that level. (See, I love run-on sentences). The thing is, I have a strong admiration for artists–painters, writers, actors, and the like. Anyway, someday, if resources would allow, I’ll definitely take a shot at photography even if that path is murky. Hahai, sana lang may camera ako. Sige lang, pagiipunan ko. Nyahahaha.

I’m supposed to post some of my “artistic” photographs here but, for some reason, I’m not able to. Must be the server, I guess. Oh wellz. Next time.